Obviously, spoilers await you.
Its… its a real bummer, you guys.
After tracking a giant shark and rescuingJeff Goldblumfrom villainous pirates, Ned suddenly dies in a helicopter crash.
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Its like Poseidon suddenly became furious with them and decided to destroy their helicopter.
Up to that point, Ned had been the main character and the shows moral center.
Its an important lesson that also applies to real life.
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Then all three of them die in a parking lot.
The pluckiest, most charming superhero ever created passes into oblivion in terrified agony.
It was a shocking disappointment to all the Franco-heads whod bought a ticket.
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Next to hisPineapple ExpresscostarDanny McBrideandMichael Fassbender, Franco is the most recognizable actor in this film.
Wash wasnt just a major character he was just about everyonesfavoritecharacter.
He doesnt even get a tear-jerking death scene or some poignant final words.
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Hes just suddenly dead, with an enormous spike in his chest.
And thats just the beginning of this excellent but decidedly somber Spider-Man movie.
He then immediately triggers a trap and gets his face melted by acid.
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And thenAlien 3came out and kills Newt and Hicks offscreen before the opening credits have finished.
But Dave immediately slips and falls out of a tree during his break-in attempt and is killed instantly.
Its played as a joke, but it never comes anywhere near being funny.
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He then walks outside and is immediately,spectacularlystruck by two cars.
It is the deadest Pitt has ever been on film.
Struck is a gentle word.
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Pitt goes completely airborne and is bounced between the two cars like a cat toy.
Literally the day after this happens, Maggie is hit by a truck while riding her bike and dies.
Its a realGift of the Magisituation.
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This movie should be illegal.
It cannot be stressed enough how absolutely nothing this movie has to do with 9/11.
This movie is a carousel of major characters suddenly getting shot in the face.
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Books death was shocking for a few reasons.
Third, hes barely even in the movie long enough to die.
Who hurt you, Joss?
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Butch machine-guns Vincent to death and leaves, and the audience is left in stunned silence.
Then, midway through the 5thseason, Kutner abruptly shoots himself in the head.
Its so abrupt that even Dr. House refuses to accept it, insisting that Kutner must have been murdered.
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But no, he wasnt.
To label Oberyns death as unexpected doesnt quite do it justice.
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